Only one Animal was harmed in the making of this game.^*

^*Upon learning that my imaginary friend refused to take part in another silly Easter egg in one of my games, a certain aforementioned Muppet went ballistic and tried to attack him. Unfortunately for him, Jimmy knows Muay Thai.

1 lb Farfalle Rigate or bowtie pasta
1 medium yellow onion, finely diced
2 cups baby bella mushrooms, sliced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
4 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 cup Ramen Chicken Broth
2 cups heavy cream
2 tbsp. paprika
1 tbsp. dijon mustard or ground mustard
2 tbsp. dill
1 cup Pecorino Romano cheese, finely grated
1 lb protein poppet of your choice, taglocked to a nemesis (anyone named Kylee will do)

1. Stab the poppet relentlessly with a fork until you start getting vertigo, then pound on it with a meat mallet until you see stars. Slowly and methodically slice it up into thin strips, then sauté them in 2 tbsp. of olive oil. Set the strips aside, and take three deep breaths.
2. Boil the pasta according to the directions. Save a couple tablespoons of the water.
3. Sauté the onions and mushrooms in olive oil over medium-high heat for 10-15 min. Add the garlic and cook for another minute.
4. Add the broth. Bring to a boil, and let simmer for a few minutes.
5. Add the heavy cream. Continue simmering for a few more minutes.
6. Stir in the paprika, mustard and dill. Gradually add the cheese until melted.
7. Add the protein, pasta and pasta water, and remove from the heat.
8. Let stand for a few minutes until the sauce thickens.
9. Eat that shitsh*t.

The group that stepped off the bus consisted of two women and seven men; the tenth person was shot immediately, so it didn't really matter what sex it was, although Herbert was rather interested.

After the shot went off, Herbert was seen standing over the dead body. This led the rest to believe that he was the one who had done the deed, but since nobody really cared one way or the other, they didn't hold it against him.

A silence fell among the group as they dragged the dead body into a nearby alley and propped it in a sitting position against the wall. Had it not been Tuesday, they all would have left it at that and then gone their separate ways. But it was Tuesday, and they all knew what had to be done.

Herbert had the honor of taking the first bite. He cringed at the taste, and then managed to smile. The younger of the two women took the next bite—from the nose. Pretty soon everyone had a bite, and the silence diminished as they feasted on the corpse.

It took close to three hours to devour the entire body, and when the task was accomplished, they all went back to their normal lives.

That night Herbert let out a burp that smelled like perfume. For the first time in ten years his wife did not come to bed with him. She slept in the bathtub on a bed of crackers.

Tell your dog I said hi.

As long as you're still here, I may as well ask you to please consider making a donation to the ASPCA.

Seriously? I'm not Chuck Lorre...

Are you just digging the music? I get that. I wish I could take credit for it. All I did was introduce Claude to Suno.

Oh my god, did you hear what Brenda said about Lindsay?

Lindsay was babysitting for the Millers and found their stash and started smoking it, but little Bobby caught her, and now he's blackmailing her! I was all like, Lindsay, you can't let a toddler intimidate you like that, he'll own your ass for the rest of your life! But Lindsay was all, "you don't know that little shitsh*t, he's fuckingf***ing smart for his age" and I was all "well then I guess you just have to silence him for good" you know, like, just joking, but then Lindsay said she knows a guy who knows a guy, and damn...now I'm really worried...

They wouldn't be able to pin that on me, would they?